Holy Carolina, Monkey Keys! I’m posting, and that is no small feat when you’re unemployed, let me tell you what.
“Wait, you’re unemployed now?”
Yeah, shucks howdy, Out of the Loop Key. I haven’t been writing anything down, so let me give you the short short Mel Brooks version of what has happened since early February.
February 8, 2010: I didn’t post.
February 9, 2010: In an epic dual, I defeated Mothera and saved Tokyo.
February 10, 2010: The boss of Tokyo gave me the key to the universe and I used it to go on adventures.
February 11, 2010: March 12, 2010 – Adventures! And some light cabbage eating.
March 12, 2010: My last day at my old job. I left because the adventures were so much better than working.
March 13, 2010 – March 13, 2054: In an accidental fit of joy, I jumped through the space/time continuum and bash my head on 2054. Luckily they invented a drug that helps your headache in that time, and I only experienced constipation, diarrhea, dizziness, gas, headache, heartburn, nausea and stomach pain as a result.
March 14, 2010 – April 7, 2010: I squandered my winnings from Tokyo Slam 2010 on penny stocks that all went bankrupt within seconds. The boss of Tokyo takes back my key to the universe because he misplaced his.
April 7, 2010: I packed my car with a few absolutely necessary items like my 40 inch TV, and drove to Washington DC.
April 8, 2010: I didn’t post.
April 9, 2010: I got lost on foot in downtown DC, and, fearing for my life, used my $500 Google phone to ask a nice homeless person if he can identify where we are on the map.
April 10, 2010: I made it to North Carolina, didn’t post, and passed out for a week an a half.
April 21, 2010: I am introduced to my new rival blog which infuriates me with its goodness. With renewed vengeance, I vow to update.
April 21, 2010 (11am): I wrote “Holy Carolina, Monkey Keys! I’m posting, and that is no small feat when you’re unemployed, let me tell you what.” Then one of the Monkey Keys said, ““Wait, you’re unemployed now?”” So I have to go into this Mel Brooks short explanation that ends up being quite long…
“Whoa, I think you can skip this part.”
This is where it gets good, Skip Ahead Key! I suppose I see your point though. In an effort to compete with my rival blog, I intend to start getting a few things done around here at ObHaz.
If I don’t, feel free to shank me.
Shanked.
Is this going to turn into the same thing as the book that was being written, or the website that isn't up? I hope not, because I'd much rather be entertained… and a good throwdown between the blogs would be pretty sweet.
Until then, I'll just keep reading hers, as she posts ALOT more
(Oh, quoting the other blog. Pretty sure that's a burn…)
it looks like I’m caught up! Woot, nice new site buddy